The last of August, and I’m taking a moment to catch up with myself as I pause before looking ahead to September:

• I’m in my third of the Booker Long List books, and so far it’s my favorite. Love Forms by Claire Adam was my first read, and I felt engaged but not enthralled. Honestly, I couldn’t quite get the comparisons to Elizabeth Strout. But maybe it was me. My second read was Audition by Katie Kitamura, and I felt disoriented and put off by it. It was a very internal book, but I never really felt let in. And again, maybe it was me. Now I am reading Misinterpretation by Ledia Xhoga. At this point, I am bringing a certain amount of wariness to this entire enterprise, but so far, Misinterpretation feels more engaging and accessible to me, even though the title would imply otherwise.
  
• As well, I have been listening to All’s Well by Mona Awad. It’s a novel about a theatre professor and centers around an exploration of her debilitating pain and the healthcare establishment’s denial about so much of it. I only listen to it when I’m driving, so it’s half-hour snippets at most — and it definitely affects the rest of my reading life.
  
• I think I am looking forward to the Booker shortlist coming out. That will be on Tuesday, September 23, and maybe I’ll have a couple more read before then — and fewer books left on my list going forward.
  
• Football season starts on Thursday with a match-up between the Super Bowl-winning Eagles and the hapless Cowboys. I have selected the lucky T-shirt that I will wear for all games, so long as the birds keep winning. (Hint: It’s got the number and name of a beloved former tight end on it.)
  
• I’ve decided that I need to ride my stationary bike more (which would be any number of minutes greater than zero) this coming month. I’ll use this blog to stay accountable.

My reading experience may not be helped by the fact that I’m taking care of 3 energetic dogs at the moment. We take many walks, and I tend to be falling asleep after @ 15-minutes of reading (if I’m lucky). One of those dogs got groomed yesterday and is feeling pretty spiffy at the moment. (And no, she isn’t the photo on the left, although it’s kinda close!)

So, September 1 is the day my parents got married — an event that bore mixed results. But I am essentially glad that it happened, or I’d not be writing this. Whether it brings specific changes or not, the arrival of a new month always feels worth marking. And this year, September arrives with a number of changes beyond the start of school and fantasy football. And they’ve sparked some anxiety for me. ‘Nuff said.

I’ve been thinking about anxiety lately — MY anxiety — which has been a somewhat surprising discovery for me. I used to think of myself as easy-going. (I used to think of my father that way, too.) Neither thought is accurate.

Aware of it now, I see how often I anticipate things with anxiety. It could be big things/big changes in my life, or it could be things like a work meeting, or any kind of ‘appointment,’ or even walking up a steep hill. Will I be able to do whatever-it-is this time?

And it’s been interesting to see how closely my anxiety is tied to my breathing. And to learn how much self-talk can help me through anything!

I’m sure there will be more on this as September unfolds. Am I anxious about the Eagles vs. Dallas? You bet. The next new thing? Of course. Getting on that exercise bike? Uh-huh.

To be continued…