Okay, here it is.  It’s 1/14/08 and my exercise regimen (the one I wrote about before the holidays) is almost non-existent.  Meanwhile chocolate calls, blogging calls, football still calls … and with football there’s the whole beer and pretzels thing … and you get the picture. 

I thought I had it licked, stepping back from “just do it” and telling myself that the key was to “just show up.”  It’s true – that’s the key.  But it turns out there is really no “just” about it.  Between “just” and “show up” stretches a yawning gulf of volition.  And it appears there’s “just” no way around that.

I thought the trick for me was to make exercise (and other healthy choices) as volitionless as possible.  If it’s a really, really tiny choice that I have to make to get me started (so I’ve surmised), that’s the likeliest path to success.  But what I’ve realized is … there is no getting around the fact that I have to make a choice.  Choosing feels existentially different from doing … it’s where I set my course … or where I veer off track.

All weekend (when there was plenty of time) I chose to do “other” things.  It didn’t actually feel like choosing – more like continuing a kind of momentum.  My time wasn’t wasted by any means – but I didn’t entirely take charge of it either (at least not in a conscious, up front, grown up way). 

So it’s not just choosing TO exercise, but also choosing NOT to do something else at some point.  It’s choosing to paddle and steer, rather than just being carried downstream on a warm, sunny day .. ahhhh.  It’s choosing to STOP and MAKE a choice … dammit!  If I don’t stop, I know now that I will slide through my day – doing useful things in many instances – but NOT CHOOSING!

Come on, JordanCornblog … you can do it!  It’s actually a very teeny, tiny choice that you need to make … but it’s a choice … yes indeedy … and you’re making it, one way or the other.  Doing it consciously is power.  You know how good it can feel when you do it.  So just do it!  (Watch out treadmill … here I come!)