Signs and Portents 2.0

So, I was hoping that the Mueller Report would be released on Friday, sometime between Noon and 3PM — the traditionally recognized hours of the crucifixion. But releasing it on the day of the Last Supper works as well. After all, according to many true-believers, Trump is the Second Coming. So, some drama on Thursday is in keeping with the Holy Week timetable. (And we all still know what’s coming on Friday, so there’s that, too.)

First there was Palm Sunday…

After Palm Sunday, Holy Week wends its way toward Thursday and the Last Supper. The symbolism is rich. We’ve got a passel of modern-day disciples. They’re a motley crew of White House Officials — both past and ‘acting’ — who may or may not know what they are doing. AND who may or may not have betrayed their bloated, orange pinata of a POTUS/Christ-figure.

They are increasingly worried (much too mild a word for it) about having their betrayal exposed by the Mueller Report. As NBC News sums it up: “‘They got asked questions and told the truth, and now they’re worried the wrath will follow,’ one former White House official said.”

Which one is Judas? Actually, more realistically, I think we have to ask which ones. And OMG it is going to be SO interesting and FUN to find out, isn’t it?

But back to our Holy Week activities. There’s the Last Supper — probably down at Mar-a-Lago, right? What is being served? I have a pretty good guess. Yum! Unless, of course, Donnie had a stash of moldy old Trump steaks that he decided to generously share with his lackeys on this most portentous night. Chewy steaks washed down with glasses of Trump Vodka. Heaven on earth (not to mention a new twist on communion)!

To give you some idea of the kinds of pleasures awaiting the disciples at this Last Supper, here are some stand-in ‘disciples’ giving the Lord’s vodka a little taste…

Of course, one thing that Trump is surely thinking, on this night of nights, is that he’s lucky to have William Barr in his corner. Well, maybe he’s not thinking he’s lucky so much as smart. Yeah, really, really smart. Probably the smartest ever. Historically smart. No Pontious Pilate for this POTUS. Indeed, William Barr was hand-picked for his loyalty. Not his taste in sunglasses, as the photo attests. And not his character or his legal acumen, as his willingness to work in the Trump White House attests.

But wait – THAT’s not William Barr. He’d NEVER make the peace sign! An interloper, albeit a talented and entertaining interloper, slipped into the supper before being recognized and escorted unceremoniously out by POTUS’ nasty-but-buff bodyguards. It’s THIS William Barr — the jowly-self-satisfied-and-BIGLY-compromised one — that Trump is so happy about. You can see why right?

And here’s the thing: If you step back and squint your eyes just a little, isn’t Barr really just a slightly healthier-looking, cleaned up version of this other Trump crony? Aren’t these disciples just the most inspiring bunch of toadies ever? And there’s lots more where these came from. They’re all kinda the same person when it comes down to it. (With apologies to Sir Elton, who most definitely does NOT belong in this rogues gallery.)

How does it all end?

Once we get past today, it’s hard to say, at least with any kind of a timetable attached. But before the proverbial cock crows, they’ll all back away. Whenever that blasted cock actually crows. We’ve been waiting for such a long time — and it’s coming. It may not be the Mueller Report that starts the true unraveling of this evil empire. But something will. And once it does and these #deplorables sense that their bloated orange POTUS is about to go the way of Trump steaks and vodka, they’ll be jumping ship.

It’s just the way with these things.

And come the day of his comeuppance, I’m sure the Donald will feel like he is being crucified. He’ll squeal and whine and wail. No dignity in the man, that’s for sure. And his fervent followers will lash out, blaming the Deep State and fake news and all manner of conspiratorial evildoers. And then they will wait.

And wait…

And wait…

For what? Why for that resurrection that was foretold on Fox News and in the QAnon prophecies. Michele Bachmann will be the first to behold the reconstituted Donald as he descends (rather repetitively) on another golden escalator. At that point, as has been written, she will step up to the microphone (because there’s always a microphone) and explain it all most satisfactorily and credibly.

Cray without end, amen.

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2 Responses to Signs and Portents 2.0

  1. Karen says:

    I think this might provide good fodder for Saturday Night Live! Go Jordy Go!

    Liked by 1 person

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