Soften Bravely



The new will always
Open to me when I make
One choice differently.


Pema Chödrön advises that we soften whatever is hard in us when we have the opportunity to choose — which is always.

When confronted with a hook (Shenpa), can I be brave enough not to repeat an old story and instead choose to be still and experience the feelings that lie underneath it all?

That is when the seeds get burnt.

And I simply don’t know what will happen next. Terrifying at one time, this can now be a joyful thing (especially if you are a brave fire sign…) 🙂

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Tournament Time — Women’s B-Ball and Soccer

The B-Ball First

In the WNBA, the Commissioner’s Cup started yesterday with the Fever vs. the Sky. And the Fever took the match-up, winning their first home game of the season. The WNBA is ‘buzzing’ as the new season gets underway and the crop of rookies find their niches in the pros. And the Commissioner’s Cup adds to the buzz (although it hardly seems necessary this year).

This Cup is an annual in-season competition for the WNBA. In the end, after the slate of games have been played through, the team from each conference with the top record competes for a $500,000 prize pool in the Commissioner’s Cup Championship.

Each team plays a total of five Commissioner’s Cup games, one against each of its in-conference rivals. All games played during the two-week period from June 1-13, 2024 will be Commissioner’s Cup games. All of these games are a part of the team’s 40-game schedule and count toward the team’s regular-season win-loss record. The Commissioner’s Cup Championship will be played on Tuesday, June 25 at the arena of the team with the best record in Cup play.

So, stay tuned. You can follow the standings HERE.

The Soccer

In soccer, well, bear with me as I wrap my head around this upcoming soccer tournament, okay? I haven’t written about soccer in a long time. But with the Olympics looming, it’s time to start greasing those gears. So here’s what I’ve found online about TST:

This soccer tournament (TST) includes $1 million, winner-take-all tournaments for men and women. The men’s and women’s soccer tournaments are both 7 v 7. There are 8 teams on the women’s side and a LOT more on the men’s (48 to be exact). Pretty good odds for those 8 women’s teams, I’d say!

The tournament runs from June 7-10. Looks like ESPN has the rights to all of the matches and most will be streaming. But some may be available on regular TV.

Heather O’Reilly captains the team named US Women, and its head coach is Carla Overbeck. Recently Mia Hamm and Carli Lloyd joined the coaching staff, which also includes Michelle Akers, Wendy Palladino, Bill Palladino, Kacey White, Lisa Pittaro, Jen Mead, and Kendall Fletcher White.

Maybe the coaches should play…just sayin’!

The women’s 8-team field is split into two groups of four. The top two teams from each group will advance to the semifinals on June 9. Both the men’s and women’s events will conclude in a winner-take-all championship doubleheader on June 10, with a total of $2M in prize money being awarded. I’m guessing that these will likely be on TV, but can’t say for sure.

I’ll be trying to pay attention…but feel free to nudge me if I fall asleep at the switch.

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5-Year Diaries: June 1

I’ve got several generations of 5-year diaries in my room now. The handwriting can be confounding, but here are the entries for June 1st, insofar as I’ve been able to decipher them.

The generations are four on my mother’s side of the family. While not wealthy, they carried the privileges of whiteness, education, and connection. These entries start with Gracum Emma—the name she was given by her two Grandchildren. She was the mother of my Grandfather and my Great-Aunts Helen and Emma. Then comes my mother, and the entries end with me.

These are the lives of girls and women as they were recorded on June 1.

Gracum Emma-49 Years Old (Born 1860)



1909, Tuesday, Rensselaerville, NY: “Harriet writes that as it is so cold they will wait another week. Such a relief. I’ll have Mrs. Charlie Barkman to wash windows, etc. A good worker but great talker and of unsavory reputation. We take naps and have afternoon tea on piazza. A lovely day. No wind.”

Great Aunt Helen-60 Years Old (Born 1893)




1953, Monday, Germantown, PA: “Cool. Town about Hearing aid. Leave with —-. Visit Art Alliance while waiting for decision. After, meet —-. Susie to woods. Nap. Lunch.”

Great Aunt Emma-57 Years Old (Born 1896)




1954, Tuesday, Germantown, PA: “Very hot. Pretty bad going back to school. Irritable. See first firefly in garden tonight. Courtney puts plug in kitchen. Ready for refrigerator.”

Mom-17 Years Old (Born 1925)


1943, Tuesday, Ridley Park, PA: “I didn’t have to take any exams except French this semester. I delivered the stationery that I sold and collected for it. We played Bridge this evening and Pa and I beat Malcolm and Ma by a big score. We all had ice cream later on. Pa got a hive of bees late this evening that swarmed on a bridge. It is a beautiful day. I got my commencement invitations this evening.”

Me-67 Years Old (Born 1952)


6/1/2020, Canterbury, NH: “Worked on making the Woods Loop more walkable and did some laundry and some mowing, too. Clear, chilly day to start the month of June. Meanwhile, COVID and riots and Trump — ugh!”

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Don’t Worry or Be Afraid



Shenpa is the path
To my freedom if I let
Each seed just burn up.

Walking in the woods this morning I let myself realize how afraid I am of each trigger (each Shenpa) that brings up feelings (seeds that want to sprout).

Is it the feelings or the triggers I fear? They are so tightly twined. A part of this work is to create space so I can see that they are different. The space of a breath — enough space to make the choice to NOT water the seed but to let it burn up.

And to just sit with the feeling is to know (as Blake said) that the feeling is in me. I am not in the feeling, though when I water the seed it surely feels that way.

No, the feeling is in me and therefore I am bigger. I don’t need to be afraid. I can let each seed just burn.

PS I am a fire sign! 😉

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Sitting in the Fire

Shenpa Reveals the Seeds

The seeds of what I
Feel are WAY underneath what’s
In my life today.

Choose Stillness and Remember

I hold you and we
Sit still together as we
Let those seeds burn up.

Haiku’s generally come to me when I walk in the woods. Sometimes I have my phone with me and am able to record what comes. When I don’t, the challenge is to remember. The other day I had my phone and recorded these.

They came after listening to a lecture by Pema Chodrun. She has been a quietly profound boon throughout my life. And what struck me the other day was her wisdom about not repeating old patterns.

Shenpa is, very loosely, a trigger or a hook. The old patterns are habitual responses to these hooks. The Shenpa can be thought of as a seed and responding habitually means you water the seed. And that, in turn, means that the seed grows.

NOT responding habitually means NOT watering the seed the way you always have. And it leaves you feeling uncomfortably at loose ends. You’re not doing the usual. And Chodron describes this as a feeling of choosing to sit in the midst of fire.

It’s hard.

But what struck me in her description was that the fire burns up the seeds. This feels like a very positive thing — incremental, concrete progress.

It’s another way of describing the process of not continuing to travel old, well-worn, neural pathways. What I find especially helpful is the fact that we’re talking here about lots and lots of seeds. This certainly matches my experience of hooks. And the hopeful part here is the fact that burning a seed actually gets rid of it.

There will always be more seeds, and not following the chain reaction that shenpa tempts is very challenging.

But choosing to sit in the fire yields real, concrete results. It is always worth doing!

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…but don’t forget the Star Flowers.



The trillium and
Lady slippers are almost
Gone. Poppies come soon…

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Two for Saturday


Lady Slipper

It’s okay if you
Don’t show your flower today.
Perfect either way.


And…

Meanwhile Trillium
Blooms with abandon on the
Woodsy, twisty path.

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Last Letting Go?


Dark death then dark nights.
Kiss outside the library
Echoed down the years.

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Two Today


Just now…

Something old came clear
And there’s no question and no
Ambiguity.



So…

If I really stop
Repeating old patterns I’ve
Indulged, what remains?

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Self-Discipline = Self-Love


Every ‘hook’ is an
Opportunity to pause
And choose something new.

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