I’m coming up on the 44th anniversary of my mother’s death on January 19. When she died I was 22 years old and had just graduated from college the spring before. And looking at those numbers, it strikes me that, as of this year, we overlapped for just 1/3 of my life. A brief span, but her shadow stretches across all the years.
So, today my aim isn’t to write about her, but about grief and the act of grieving. Her death was sudden and my recollection of the time surrounding it is blurred at best. The years following were a time of adjusting to the wrenching change. There were no road maps back then or at least none that I was aware of or open to. I was 22 years old. In my mind I was most definitely all grown up and not really looking for advice or support.
What I can see now, 44 years later, is how very young, confused and lost I was as I stumbled blindly through that time. I remember that I did a lot of writing and a lot of listening to sad music. In the light cast by sudden death, I romanticized what had been a complicated and fraught mother-daughter relationship. And my other relationships through those years were freighted with the heaviness and volatility of grief. But I couldn’t see that at all. After the initial shock and early months of disorientation, I thought I was picking myself up and moving on. And I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Close the book and get back to living my life.
But what I’ve learned, in the years since January 19, 1975, is that you never really close the book. And in order to truly move on, you first have to move in.
Unfortunately, our tendency (and the more WASPish elements of our culture encourage this) is to back away from grief and, indeed, from feelings in general. What that means, practically speaking, is that we don’t actually move anywhere. We get stuck on square one, working stoically to avoid experiencing the profound and disquieting feelings that our loss elicits. Those feelings stay right with us, buried and waiting to be experienced.
And the thing is that grief is about losses of all sizes and shapes. It may be the actual loss of a person in our lives. Or maybe it’s the loss of a relationship, a core element of our identity, or a cherished pastime. (For some of us, it could even be the loss of a football game, sadly enough!)
Any loss strips something away and leaves something raw and vulnerable exposed. And the more those losses pile up, static and ungrieved, the more buried and unexperienced feelings we drag around with us. It gets heavy. It changes us, and not for the better.
So healing is about recognizing and tending to these wounds. (I looked up debridement just now, and while there may be an analogy to be explored there, it was a little too gory for me, so I’ll aim to be a little less bloody in making my point.)
I see grieving as a choice to open to the pain of loss and the real treasures that it holds. It’s a layered experience. It takes you ever more deeply down winding paths, into hidden caverns of self-knowledge. You’ll find places you may not have known existed. You’ll be surprised. The world you see will be altered. And you’ll evolve and deepen, along with your feelings about the loss you’re grieving.
Opening doors rather than closing them, grief introduces you to worlds you can’t imagine when you’re standing, stuck, on square one. Moving toward rather than away, giving voice rather than silencing, grief is a tender and painful gift. It’s humanity at its richest. Turning away from it, we turn away from ourselves. And that’s the biggest loss there is…
Last week I posted the recipe for the Eagles’ next successful step in the playoffs. It was simple and to the point: do the same thing you did last week — exactly. Easy peasy, right?
But what did I do? Or, more to the point, what did I NOT do?
For starters, I wore the wrong T-shirt during the first part of the day. Last Sunday I had worn my lucky Pope Francis Eagles #15 shirt. And I had set it carefully aside so that it would be ready for this week. But I forgot and didn’t put it on ’til about 1 PM, which was WAY too late for the good luck to take root. (You could tell, just from watching the game. The papal power was there and working for about the first 15-minutes, but then it dissipated. I feel SO guilty!)
I didn’t go for a walk before the game. Having taken a walk last week, I knew full well that this might be an important part of the formula for success. Ignoring it was selfish and almost unforgivable.
I had on my Celek shirt during the game, but hadn’t put my father’s picture beside the TV. I hadn’t used it the week before but if I had been focused I would have known that it could have added some vital energy for the second half. This would have been an opportunity to make up for earlier mistakes, and I totally missed it.
Bottom line, I blew it. I didn’t do my job (and yes, I hear you, Bill Belichick, I hear you).
If your family of origin was like many, there was a degree of unpredictability in your days. Indeed, most of us grew up quietly comparing our experience to the myth of the ‘normal family’ and wondering what we had done to screw things up.
Once you realized your family was different, maybe you invested energy trying to hide those familial ‘nasty bits’ from the outside world. Or maybe you railed against the unfairness. Maybe you left, only to learn from The Eagles in later life that “you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.”
So, we carry our histories with us. And when we encounter echoes of it all, well, those echoes resonate powerfully and often unconsciously.
And now, here, we have family dysfunction writ large. This American presidency feels nauseatingly familiar for some of us. There’s a bully at the Bully Pulpit. And so we’re back where we started, living with a level of baseline stress that is profoundly enervating.
Daddy is nuts or drunk or maybe on some kind of drug that he puts up his nose, and a third of the people in the family are acting like there’s nothing weird going on. The adults in the room are leaving, and the institutions that are supposed to help in situations like this seem to not be functioning properly. Meanwhile, we try to carry on with our everyday lives. It’s a tough road.
Listen to this for awhile and let yourself just feel what you feel…
What rituals and superstitions are Philadelphia Eagles fans indulging in as the hours and minutes tick by? How many people who don’t usually go to church are going? How many are making their oblations at the shrine of St. Nick? What vestments are being donned, and in what order?
Epic and oh so true!
HollyCornblog, what are you doing to help the cause? I’ve got on my lucky Celek T-shirt and my Party on Broad Street sweatshirt. And I have a hierarchy of costume changes lined up, in case they should be needed during the game. Oh, and we’ve agreed that the Christmas decorations can stay up for as long as the Eagles are in the play-offs (much to the joy of Ms. Julia B).
For your viewing pleasure, a short movie about St. Nick…
Okay, I’ve got my new Bullet Journal. It’s orange, and I’m going to start today. Starting small so that I don’t overwhelm myself, but I think I better watch a couple of videos, just to get some ideas.so bear with me, as I muddle through.
I should add here, that as I write this I am also trying to learn the new block formatting set up for WordPress, AND I’m using Dragon. Why am I doing this to myself? I honestly don’t know.
Getting Started
So I did the house shopping, got the mail, came home and ate something (too much of something, to be precise) and thought about taking a nap. But instead I watched a couple of bullet journal videos and was intimidated by 2 out of 3.
I just now went to check out a video from Simple Happy Zen about minimalist bullet journaling. However, when I clicked the link, it turned out to be a video (also by Simple Happy Zen) about how to avoid buying things you don’t need. (Bullet Journals maybe?) On a second try, I got to the right video and found it sort of helpful. And I learned that Simple Zen apparently involves a lot more eye makeup than I’d imagined.
The main thing I’m gleaning, so far, is that the people who make videos about bullet-journaling generally wear nail polish, are very artistic and accomplished, and/or seem to have quite a bit of time on their hands.
And the other important thing that comes through is that where I start might not matter all that much. I’ll only have to live with whatever I come up with for a month, and it will evolve as I discover more about what works for me. Then I’ll be able to make a bullet-journaling video. (Or maybe Ruby will.)
What’s My Goal?
Yes, there’s a goal to all this. I already have an online to-do list that I use for managing work-related tasks. So, I plan to keep going with that and use the bullet journal for tracking more personal goals and habits. These are practices that I want to develop or reinforce — things like drinking more water and eating more vegetables. (Basically, things our parents and grandparents told us to do, that we haven’t quite got a handle on yet.)
I’m also interested in doing all of my off-line tracking and journaling in one notebook — as opposed to the 3 that I currently use.
So Far So…Good?
I’ve set myself up for the month of January in an exceedingly simple format that I can already tell is going to be annoying. But no worries — I can change it in February. Setting a really low bar has its advantages. (And yes, I did initially write the date as January 2018. There’s no place to go but up!)
Many, perhaps most, readers of JordanCornblog won’t be interested in this. But I am.
And I am JordanCornblog, an eldest child who’s finally accepted the fact that, in my core, I am bossy and think I have the best ideas. Usually, I mask it with a patina of benevolence. But when cornered, the core emerges. Magma replaces magnanimity.
So, this morning I am writing about the Philadelphia Eagles — the last team into the play-offs and the defending Super Bowl champs.
On Sunday they have to play the Bears. They must knock off the team that got them into the playoffs. It’s a sad state of affairs and a necessary evil at this cut-throat time of year.
St. Nick is back at the helm after another season-ending injury to Carson Wentz. In Philly a quarterback controversy is bubbling away, fueled by a press corps creating click-bait headlines. The further the Eagles move into the playoffs, the more merrily the controversy roils. Do the Eagles stick with their 25-year-old franchise QB or go with the savior who always seems to step in and take the team to the promised land?
Meanwhile, the players strive to ignore the chatter and stay focused on the moment. This is what the savior preaches — and the coaches are definitely on board with the strategy. Unlike other teams (yes, Steelers, I’m talking to you) the Eagles actually seem able to set aside individual aspirations and pull together. Will it be enough to send the Bears into hibernation?
That’s where we all come in, Eagles fans. We have to do whatever we can to help the team. This involves rituals that are unique to each and every one of us — you know what I’m talking about. So, what will you do? Here are a few of the things I’ll be up to:
Doing at least a 35-second plank every morning while thinking about the Eagles winning the game;
Hydrating;
Pushing myself aerobically;
Possibly tracking these things in my bullet-journal, if it ever arrives;
Wearing my Brent Celek T-Shirt, but only on game day, not before;
Not wasting precious energy on snarky tweets in response to #MAGA idiocy on Twitter;
Anything else I think of that seems like it might help — like maybe eating more vegetables or cleaning the cat box.
Honestly, the underdog Eagles look primed for a playoff run. Alice, I know you’re not a football fan, but it may be time to start watching. (Of course, if you watch for the first time all year and they lose, in all likelihood the blame will fall to you. Just sayin’!)
I never thought of myself as especially superstitious, but I’m considering revising that view. Long and careful observation has worn down my denial and the self-critical eye that drives it. I’m ready to own my idiosyncratic thinking – maybe even start celebrating it.
One recent portent I received came unexpectedly this past Saturday. We had a get together at our house and when I was chatting with one of my nephews he let me know that he reads my tweets. What this portends, dear reader, is a serious re-thinking of my snarky persona and snarky behavior on Twitter. This message from the universe is one I have taken to heart. (So, all you Trump supporters out there, you can rest easier now, I suppose.)
Here’s another example: I’m very taken with the idea that you can start with a clean slate on January 1. Standing on the ground of a new beginning, I resolve, each year, to be healthier, more productive, more creative, and just generally better. Whether it’s 1966 or 2019, that’s pretty much what I do.
This year, I thought I might try starting a bullet journal. I’ve seen them from time to time and been intrigued, although the meticulous attention to detail is a tad off-putting. I love meticulous attention to detail for about 36 hours and 27 minutes — maybe a little longer if I’ve had some kind of a health scare.
Anyway, I checked out a few bullet journals on Amazon and, knowing my proclivities, decided that I shouldn’t invest too much money in this. After all, there was a very good chance that in a few hours I’d get distracted by Pilates or Peaky Blinders or, most likely, the Eagles’ march toward the Superbowl, and set the bullet journal aside.
So I ordered an inexpensive journal and it was slated to be delivered yesterday. I was psyched and couldn’t wait to plot out my first month. I’d decided to track only self-care and creative ideas and activities since I have an online to-do list that I use for everyday and work-related tasks. I was pretty sure that this was going to be the year I really got back on track with writing — hell, maybe even painting.
Right on schedule yesterday afternoon I got a message that the package had been delivered. So I came home from work, all set to get started. But sadly, there was no package to be found. I searched all over and questioned my housemates. (Too aggressively? Maybe, but they seem to be over it.) This morning I walked down the driveway to the mailbox to check again and, oh woe is me, there was still no package there.
If you detect some insincerity in my ‘woe is me’ you’re not off base. As soon as the delivery seemed off-track, I had this slow-growing thought. Maybe the screw-up was actually a sign. Maybe I should go back and order the journal that I was eyeing first. I’d demurred and ordered the cheap facsimile because, well, I know I’m pretty much of a slacker.
But maybe not this time! I mean now, with this clear portent, the universe is probably telling me something. So I’m thinking I should probably go ahead and order the one I was originally drawn to. And in a bright color, at that. I even asked Alexa and she agreed.
Another rainy walk in the woods. And this time I saw Red Efts galore — easily 10 times as many as yesterday.
Have more emerged with the damp weather? Am I just more aware of them and therefore more likely to see them?
Might both things be true?
Well, I lean in the direction of Ralph Waldo Emerson who wrote:
“Our eyes are holden that we cannot see things that stare us in the face, until the hour arrives when the mind is ripened; then we behold them, and the time when we saw them not is like a dream.”
So it seems to be with the Red Efts for me. And, to be honest, it’s making it harder to walk in the woods. After all, I don’t want to kill the little creatures, and they really DO seem to be underfoot a lot. And those are just the ones I can see.
What about the ones that are under the leaves? And then what about the hundreds and hundreds of them that I’ve stepped on through the years?
I do try to walk lightly. But OMG, it’s easy to drive yourself to distraction, once you start thinking about it.
Another consideration, honestly, is everything else that I miss as I walk along the path, trying not to step on any Red Efts. One day not too long ago, I saw an owl flying silently through the twilight trees. Sadly, that’s not a sight I’m likely to see now since my vision is trained almost exclusively at the ground.
So, there’s another lesson here, but I’ve not quite got it yet. It has to do with noticing and opening to new things and at the same time holding what you know. I like the image of the mind ripening, nourished by experience and leavened by deepening wisdom.
In practical terms, I think it means I need to do my best not to step on the Red Efts. But I also need to raise my eyes in readiness for the owl that swoops through the hemlocks on silent wings. Oh, and I also need to not trip!
I took Caleb for a rainy walk in the woods this morning and along the way saw 3 Red Efts, which felt pretty special. I saw the first one about midway through my walk and after that, kept my eyes peeled and saw two more along the way.
So, of course, being an ego-centric human, I fell easily into the illusion of thinking that those 3 Red Efts, spotted on a rainy morning in July, represented all of the Red Efts in our woods.
But almost immediately I realized how silly that was. Obviously, there are lots and lots of Red Efts in our woods — not just the 3 I happened upon. And there are Red Efts in lots of places beyond our woods — like Vermont, for example, or maybe North Carolina.
Not only that, but I hadn’t seen all of the Red Efts that were right on my path, either. I only started looking after I noticed the first one. And even then, I often glanced elsewhere as I walked. No doubt I missed lots of the little creatures while I gazed at the trees and leaves and birds and other interesting things that caught my eye.
So, what’s my point?
That my experience and my field of vision are both breathtakingly singular, as are yours. The paths we travel afford us views of just what we can see from where we are. No matter what path we choose to set our feet upon, we see what we’re able to see from that vantage point. And even then, we don’t see everything.
This I find both comforting and confounding.
There are a couple of responsibilities embedded here that I think I need to take more seriously. And both have a lot to do with humility.
One of the responsibilities is that of really recognizing the limitation of my perspective – that it is breathtakingly singular.
And the other is broadening and expanding that perspective whenever I can.
What does that mean in practice?
Well, in Red Eft terms, it means being open to seeing the Red Efts when they fall into my field of vision AND being also open to the fact that I’m not seeing all of them by any stretch of the imagination.
And why now?
Well, because it concerns me, how divided our country has become. Realizing that my view is breathtakingly singular may help. At least it’s something I’m going to keep in mind the next time I am tempted to pontificate.
Licorice Pizza: I'm starting anew here and have now been, twice, to Vax and Snax at Red River. These are Thursday night movies for vaccinated and masked folks, and you can get POPCORN! But I digress...Licorice Pizza was a sweet, coming-of-age in The Valley in the Seventies sort of movie that managed to include waterbeds and Jon Peters and two new stars -- Alana Haim and Cooper Hoffman (son of Philip Seymour Hoffman).
If Beale Street Could Talk: Quiet, beautiful, heartfelt, devastating. America wears many masks. This movie strips a few of them away. It shines a light on quite a lot of ugliness. As well, it illuminates dignity and resilience in the face of a system built on the abuse of privilege and power. A perfect movie to see on the eve of what is hopefully Donald Trump's last SOTU.
Shoplifters: A beautifully honest, quiet movie that is at once uplifting and devastating. Universal questions are raised and left open for pondering. What is a family? How do people survive in our world today? And how do we judge their choices?
Green Book: Very enjoyable movie and yet deeply flawed. The white guy comes across as the hero in ways that are typical for the American movie industry, and comfortably misleading in terms of the realities of our culture. Especially in the current socio/political atmosphere, can't we do better than this?
On the Basis of Sex: We applauded, we cried, we felt so glad that RBG was as prescient as she was. And I felt personally glad that her love of opera clearly predates her connection with Scalia. What an inspiring woman -- and a good movie about her early years as a student, professor, and attorney.
The Favourite: Did I say that being a queen was no fun? This definitely seems to have carried forward to Queen Anne's reign. Strong performances again, and more belly laughs than you'd think. And right along with it, grief, emptiness, ambition, and gouty excess.
Mary Queen of Scots: Being a queen was no fun in the 16th century. Excellent, complex performances in this one. I found Elizabeth especially compelling. Very unclear who actually wins out in this one.
Another Year: Loved this one! It's about a couple, and their friends, and their lives – painful in spots, and wonderfully everyday and enriching, to my mind. Great performances – and who knew there was so much wine being drunk in England!?
Tiny Furniture: A young woman (aka Lena Dunham) comes home after graduating from college and tries to find herself – or not. A character study that I found humorous and touching – and sometimes a little disturbing and/or self-indulgent. It's definitely a privilege to have the leisure to "find oneself." After this..."Girls."
Rabbit Hole: Painful/powerful movie about loss and grieving. Hard to watch but well worth the effort, with a strong cast and an especially on the mark performance by Nicole Kidman. I continue to be glad to see that she is clearly outstripping Tom Cruise as an artist. You go girl!
The Kids Are Alright: Very enjoyable movie with great performances and an excellent cast. Two kids whose moms are lesbians decide they want to find out something about their "father" – and everything moves on from that point.
The King's Speech: Warm, funny, inspiring – and apparently a bit of a rewrite of history, to boot! Colin Firth puts out an amazing performance – and was well rewarded for it. Everyone else is great too, and if you're one of the few people left who hasn't seen it, it's definitely worth a look!
Black Swan: This is a disturbing movie that I really loved – and in case you haven't noticed, I do have a tendency to like disturbing movies. What's real and what isn't? You be the judge. Also, be on the lookout for Winona Ryder – you'll never recognize her!
Blue Valentine: A couple in trouble – how they started and how they got to where they are. A good movie with excellent performances that left me wondering, especially in Michelle Williams' case, whether she was thinking about what's his name (her partner who died suddenly – the guy who starred in Broke Back Mountain – for some reason I can't remember his name – oh yeah, Heath Ledger).
Shutter Island: A dark period piece that has the creepy feel of the 1950s (creepy to me at any rate) and has stayed with me more than I would've thought. A movie with surprises – definitely worth a look.
Cyrus: I don't remember this one so well, but have a vague recollection of walking out of the theater feeling not so enthralled. I believe it's supposed to be funny – but as you can tell it didn't really make an impression.
I Am Love: Really beautiful, sumptuous movie that made me hungry, just watching it. A keeper!
The Girl Who Played with Fire: The second in the three part series involving the girl with the dragon tattoo, this movie was much harder to watch than the first, as Salander's triumph isn't quite so clear at the end. Painful, painful, painful.
Scott Pilgrim Versus the World: I loved this comic book take on young love. Went to the movie on a whim and came away very happy to have seen it! Quite a few laugh out loud moments – and touching, as well.
Going the Distance: A very lightweight romcom that kinda left me feeling like I had just spent an hour and a half reading People magazine. In other words, pretty much a waste of time.
Never Let Me Go: Wow! This was an amazing, stark, and moving movie about kids who are basically raised to become organ donors. Very much worth seeing.
The Town: Ben Affleck's movie about bank robbers. It's okay. Not great, but okay. It does make me curious about Charlestown – will have to go there one day.
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger: A Woody Allen movie that I honestly don't remember very well. It's pretty much about adults behaving badly – something that Woody knows a little something about.
The Social Network: The movie about Facebook. I found it very interesting and well done, and was especially fascinated/disturbed by the window on the incredible privilege and elitism still thriving at undergrad Harvard.
The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest: Number three in the Dragon trilogy. I found this, in many ways, the weakest of the three movies – although that's not to say that it was weak. Perhaps my enjoyment was affected by the fact that I hadn't read the book. Anyway, it's a great trilogy and I was sorry to see it come to an end.
Fair Game: The movie about the Valerie Plame affair. One of the things that I found most interesting was how it uncovered my own biases, as she was clearly a very serious and talented agent, but because of her blonde haired beauty, I pretty much assumed that she was a lightweight in real life. I appreciated, also, the depiction of her husband as a bit of a media hound, which was how he seemed to me at the time. And of course, there are the despicable characters of the Bush administration. Glad they were on display in all their glory!
City Island: This was a fine, if predictable, movie about a family in which everyone has a secret and is telling lies. I mostly loved it because it gave me a glimpse of where my friend CB lives!
Winter's Bone: Wow! Unrelenting, stark, and ultimately uplifting – at least to my mind. This is a painful movie about life when you're the daughter of someone who runs a meth lab. Winter's Bone is a perfect title. J-Law is amazing!
Please Give: Quirky, sweet, slice-of-life movie. I loved the low-key character development and good humor of it all. Enjoyable, with a great cast and few false notes.
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: Tho' parts of the book were missing, this was an excellent rendition of an excellent book. Not for the faint of heart, tho'! Lisbeth Salander is an Emma Peel for the 21st Century (watch for more from Noomi Rapace - I will be)!
Me and Orson Welles: Or was it Orson Welles and me? (If Orson had anything to do with the title, I'm guessing the latter.) I thoroughly enjoyed this movie, even as it reminded me of why the world of the theatre holds absolutely no appeal for yours truly! Nice to see Claire Danes back ... still have to finish watching Temple Grandin, too!
Crazy Heart: I left this movie thinking ... "Eh?" but it has stayed with me. Jeff Bridges does give a wonderful performance. The amount of smoking and drinking was nauseating - as I guess it was supposed to be - all in an understated, Jeff Bridges sort of a way.
A Single Man: One of the best movies of the year in my book. Haunting, beautifully acted and filmed ... marred only by an unnecessarily heavy-handed ending, IMHO. That was the only flaw in an otherwise brilliant bit of artistry. Colin Firth was perfect, and this was an amazing writing/directing debut for Tom Ford! See it!!!
Young Victoria: I am eternally grateful to have not been born the heir to a throne. Life was confusing enough! This was an enjoyable, tear-jerker of a movie that left me wanting to know more about the details. Perhaps a bio for Bookeaters?
Precious: Wow, wow, wow. Two weeks in a row - another amazing movie at Red River. This is a challenging and important movie ... about life in America ... every single day ... everywhere.
The Messenger: Wow, wow, wow. This is one of the best movies I have seen in quite some time. Its focus is on two men who notifiy NOK (next of kin) when a soldier dies. It is a raw, wrenching, unflinching and uplifting journey - not to be missed. Seriously
Damned United: This was a study in soccer, ambition, and friendship. For soccer buffs who actually know the players (I'm a late-comer to the game) the movie would be that much better. I loved it, though - and recommend it highly.
A Serious Man: The Book of Job envisioned by the Coen brothers evoked the early sixties and suburbia with humor, pathos ... and a slightly nauseating quality that tells me they pretty much hit the nail on the head. As one of the goyim, I am sure there were hundreds of nuances that were lost on me ... but I loved it (nausea aside) nonetheless!
Cold Souls: The premise of this movie is deeply strange, yet it is presented in an entirely believable way. It's by turns very moving and then hilarious (in ways that, in retrospect, are hard to capture/explain). The ending leaves a puzzled feeling - but that's not really bothersome. In many ways, puzzled is the appropriate way to walk out of the theater after "Cold Souls." Check it out!
Adam: Nicely done! Not a movie that will stay with you for a long time, but I liked it. The father (Peter Gallagher) seemed a tad overdone -and unnecessarily so. Unmemorable soundtrack - but since I mention it, does that make it memorable? Now I'm starting to feel like Steven Wright - not necessarily a bad thing!
Taking Woodstock: Even going in with low expectations, this offering from Ang Lee just wasn't good. Vilma was a high point in an otherwise shoddy effort. Harsh, eh? And watch out, world - it's only 6:30 AM!
Julie and Julia: I was not as bothered by Julie as some reviewers were - maybe because I liked seeing a blogger hit the big time. Meryl Streep was amazing as Julia .. and this is definitely not a movie to see on an empty stomach! Never have I enjoyed watching people eat as much as I did watching this flick!
500 Days of Summer: I think I wasn't supposed to, but I loved it. Engaging characters and script, great soundtrack. Not as quirky and lovable as "Away We Go" - but not far behind, either.
Whatever Works: People either like or hate this latest offering from Woody Allen. I must admit that it's a little weird to see this May-December relationship on-screen, feeling so creeped out by Woody's real-life choices. But I'd say he pulls it off. There are some really great lines throughout the movie, and while not entirely believable, I didn't mind being along for the ride. A pleasant diversion for sure.
Goodbye, Solo: Interesting movie that basically contrasts life energy and death energy, IMHO. Solo is the epitome of resilience - love him! Meanwhile William seems bent on being miserable, for reasons that the movie leaves mysterious. I didn't find him very a likable or compelling character - but Solo makes up for it.
Moon: I hesitate to write this one up, as I was tired when I saw it - and missed portions. But form my bleary vantage point, this seemed an intriguing movie set on the moon and exploring themes of identity, isolation, etc. It was not my usual fare - and I wasn't up to snuff - but at least had the wherewithall to be able tell that it was quality work!
Cheri: I liked this a lot better than Easy Virtue - maybe because I went into it having already seen EV and had my expectations lowered. Michelle Pfeiffer and Kathy Bates are fun to watch as always - and I liked Rupert Friend in the title role. It all got a little too serious at the end - a tone-shift that didn't quite fit with the bulk of the movie. Still - a pleasant diversion on a rainy July evening!
Away We Go: This was an excellent movie in every regard. Great dialogue and plot line, endearing cast/characters, heartwarming/funny story that avoids tipping over into overly-sweet territory ... and great soundtrack, to boot! See it, if you haven't already.
Easy Virtue: Not my cup of tea - but I suspect it would have helped, going in, to know that this was a movie based on a Noel Coward play. The characters felt stilted and unbelievable to me, as it was - and I couldn't muster much concern for what became of them. All things considered, I'd rather have been in Philadelphia!
Sugar: Sugar is a baseball flick that is sweetly and realistically done - and definitely like no Hollywood film on the subject. The characters are real and the life is hard - and the film depicts it all in a matter-of-fact way that brings the realities home more surely than something more "dramatic" ever could. Two thumbs up on this one!
Sunshine Cleaning: Director Christine Jeffs has a winner in this tale about the hard times and resiliency of the Lorkowski family. Amy Adams, Emily Blunt and Alan Arkin shine in this movie about a bio-hazard clean-up company. Yes, that's correct. And the movie had the potential to cross the line into sappiness several times but demurred. For that I am eternally thankful. (Okay, eternally may be a little over the top.) Darn good flick, though - check it out.
Milk: Sean Penn deserves an Oscar for his amazing portrayal of Harvey Milk. It actually didn't even feel like a portrayal - more a channeling. Such a loss - that yet another creative and energetic and good leader, was senselessly murdered all those years ago. Fear, hatred and guns - why don't we remove at least the last ingredient in the tragic mix?
Doubt: Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman are amazing, and Viola Davis is a heartbreaking revelation in this battle royale. I was left with less doubt at the end than some of my compatriots ... but that took nothing away from the experience. Meryl Streep deserves an Oscar, IMHO ... and I definitely want her on my side, always!
Slumdog Millionaire: Just a great movie, start to finish. Magical,epic, and a nail-biter (even though you know what's going to happen ... pretty much. The dancing at the end did my heart good - and having M.I.A. in the soundtrack didn't hurt, either!
The Secret Life of Bees: Or was it The Secret Lives of Bees? Anyway, whatever - I want Queen Latifah to be my mother!!! (What was Bill Clinton thinking, throwing her under the bus all those years ago?) The movie was entertaining but not a home run by any means. Too predictable ... but Alicia Keys was wonderfully cranky-verging-on-scary and the Queen was queenly and the honey looked delicious and it was nice hearing India Arie in the soundtrack!
Happy Go Lucky: I think I was supposed to like this more than I did. Perhaps it suffered by being seen pretty much on the heels of Rachel. I found Poppy to be a sometimes intriguing and sometimes annoying character. The relentless joking and "upbeatness" felt distancing and unnecessary. I didn't hate this movie by any means - but something was missing for me.
Rachel Getting Married: Jonathan Demme and an amazing script and cast just blew me away with this effort. The characters are fascinating and complicated and most every interaction in the film left me engaged and wanting to know more! Debra Winger was stupendous - although it's been so long since I've seen her that I kept trying to find the bull-riding Urban Cowboy persona within the steely, distant mother of this wedding movie. (She's not there.) Margot at the Wedding was very good - but Rachel puts her in her place. I highly recommend this to everyone!
Religulous: Bill Maher skewers the rampant "illogic" of religion in this free-wheeling film. His wit is right on target and as barbed as you'd expect. I found myself squirming every once in awhile. I don't mind you picking on the Pope, Bill ... but same as with Michael Moore ... sometimes when you set up "common folks" to look like fools, I cringe. Still, Religulous is worth a look for sure. The best point Bill makes? That conservatives of a religulous bent are about finding answers - while liberals are about asking questions. I can go with that!
Roman de gare: This was an intriguing, surprising, suspenseful, funny, quirky movie that I thoroughly enjoyed. The characters and plot lines are deftly developed. You should definitely check it out if you get the chance!
Young at Heart: YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE! It's a documentary about a choral group of octogenarians in Northampton, MA. Very inspiring ... definitely something to check out!
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day: Enjoyable, light fare with a stellar performance by my favorite police chief, Frances McDormand!
The Visitor: Now this was an excellent movie ... from start to finish. It was similar to Smart People in that it had an academic as the main character. However, all similarities ended pretty much right there. In this warm, funny, and wrenching movie, the characters are well and subtly developed, the plot is (unfortunately) believable ... and there are no false notes. I would urge you to see it - you won't be sorry!
Smart People: Looks like we're getting back on track with our Tuesday night movie schedule ... for the time being. Smart People was enjoyable but left me unenthralled. (It probably didn't help that we ran into a totally enthralled movie-goer on the way in who was seeing it for the second time. High expectations may have killed this one for me.) Overall, I found the characters exaggerated and mildly unlikeable ... the dialogue stilted and self-conscious, perhaps just the way smart people talk. But then the lessons about loosening up and being less self-absorbed weren't exactly ground-breaking. Overall, it wasn't a wasted evening ... but not a movie I'll be putting at the top of my list, either.
4 luni, 3 saptamani si 2 zile (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days): Winner of the Palm D'Or at Cannes, this film by Romania's Cristian Mungiu certainly deserves the accolades it receives. It's a realistic and emotionally unflinching story of a woman who helps her friend obtain an illegal abortion in 1987 Romania. The story is harrowing, the acting wonderful, and the cinematography amazing. This film makes Juno look like Disney pablum!
Taxi to the Dark Side: This was a harrowing and eye-opening look at what our country has become under the leadership of Bush/Cheney after 9/11. The "road taken" has definitely been a trip to the dark side. Disgusting and important to see ... as we make our way back toward the light!
Michael Clayton: What an excellent movie! Engaging, engrossing, well-acted. Tilda Swinton certainly deserved an award for her protrayal of what I have to think must be the secret, inner life of Condi Rice.
Persepolis: This animated memoir is an engaging, heartbreaking, uplifting, realistic look at life in Iran during the Islamic Revolution. Go see it! It humanizes what our current regime so consistently tries to dehumanize. An important movie, Persepolis is based on the book by Marjane Satrapi.
Margot at the Wedding: Dark, funny, tough to watch and very well acted.
I'm Not There: Bob Dylan's not my favorite, but this was a fascinating movie to watch (albeit long) and since he wasn't there, I couldn't very well feel annoyed by him. Cate Blanchette was just amazing - and I loved the surreal, Fellini-esque feel of the Richard Gere parts.
Atonement: Lush, compelling, painful - I especially loved Vanessa Redgrave's starkly powerful 5 minutes - and the Fellini-esque (can you tell I love Fellini?) flavor of the scenes of the evacuating troops on the beach - complete with ferris wheels - somehow depicting the disorienting horror of war in ways that blood and gore never could. Great movie!
Juno: Well, I went to see it. I totally agree with my friends who found the clinic scene extremely misleading, off-base, and gratuitously negative in its depiction of the women's health movement and its workers. In an otherwise nice movie, this was a thoughtless lapse ... and I was sad to see so many women in Juno's age group in the theater (one of them actually pregnant) ... who'll be coming away with a false impression that could so seriously affect their lives!
The Savages: Wow, what a good movie! Philip Seymour Hoffman has had an amazing run this year between this, "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead," and that other movie with Tom Hanks ... the name of which is escaping me at the moment ... Charlie Somebody's War. Anyway - he and Laura Linney are just wonderful as siblings dealing with their aging/ailing father. Painful and real ... and set in gritty, wintry Buffalo ... in perfect contrast to Sun City. (The latter looks like a setting that would do David Lynch proud.) Check it out if you haven't seen it!
Another rainy walk in the woods. And this time I saw Red Efts galore — easily 10 times as many as yesterday.
What about the ones that are under the leaves? And then what about the hundreds and hundreds of them that I’ve stepped on through the years?
I took Caleb for a rainy walk in the woods this morning and along the way saw 3 Red Efts, which felt pretty special. I saw the first one about midway through my walk and after that, kept my eyes peeled and saw two more along the way.
JordanCornblog 